On which we celebrate the birth of Robert Burns, the Peoples Poet

Isn't it totally wild
knowing one's self to have been
a bug!
On the day of one's birth what is
there to think but "ew, mom,
isn't it weird to
talk to me? When you
look at me do you see
a bumbling thumb-sized
bundle of bones
covered in urine? I
should be canceled!
The things I said
to you when first I
found the means
to speak!" And in
that am I sort of
judging her? And
let's throw dad in there too,
like, why do these people
still talk to me knowing
how weird I was when
I knew not what
an adverb was. They
should have more
self-respect. They
should always say
"yes but if you
hand a man
your boogers then
you cannot be forgiven."
It's embarrassing to talk
to them they've
SEEN MY BUTT!
God, and people
wonder why birthdays
are so stressful.