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an apology poem

because you were a myth to me
an origin story and a confusing one 
I rewrite to untangle 
here is another poem about you

because when I reached back in time
and tapped your cheek, you weren’t
supposed to turn and look at me with 
palms open kindness; I was a gorgon

because if I wasn’t a gorgon what was I
what were we? me fleeing
the panic of not understanding 
myself /you /myself 

because I had no answers you asked  
no questions we both chased and 
followed; neither lighthouse nor ship
just waves crashing

because the thrill of falling 
because I knew two truths 
one hand and the other, a scale 
tipping, tipping, side to side 

because you live there tidal pools
filling, draining; shelter and revelation 
and I am roots in one direction
waiting growing waiting





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Trying to Poem

Lamentation howling
Cat scratch yowling
A toddler head shake 
No no no
Cleaning and cleaning
and cleaning 
Again
Starting sentences that never
Laundry in 
Laundry out
Fold it, hold it, mark it with an A
Put it in the oven for baby and me
Dirty dishes clean dishes wet dishes dry
Bottles nipples
Mama mine
Berries berries BERRIES
We’ll dine on mince and slices of quince
We’ll all fall, fall off the wall
Heart so big it leaks out my eyes
Head so tired I lie down and 
Goodnight nobody

Goodnight mush
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