POEM A DAY 2019

El Charco Azul

When I think of the sweet waters
that day, I'll remember these things:

La naturaleza / Borinken's
music / sweet nature / on the path
of our own adventure / arriving / living
young, wild and free with happy heartbeats
and happy tears / los azules / rivers
emociones

When I think of the sweet waters
that day, I will remember our joyful hearts
team building / making sandwiches together the night before
that Kenny was the first to get in the water
that Melissa was the first to jump
Alex saying, people do you realize how hot I take my showers?
that swimming into the
pure cold cold cold / healed us
los azules enriched with minerals
los azules crystal clear / sweet rivers
washing away aches, pains, fears
pensive moments
when I think of the sweet waters
I'll always want to return

I'll think of Lyvette's laughter
Li's yoga pose
Soreily's spirit
Jeffrey's smiles
appreciating it all
I'll think of taking selfies
with Gabby and Sharvia
above the waterfall
climbing over the rocks with Orlando
Yadira's call to explore
Elijah's white flip flops
Marie and Abu
helping Stephanie and me
clear the waters / scooping up
all the potatoe chips that fell
and fanned out
protecting los azules adentro y pa fuera
trying our best to leave it better than
how we found it
how we didn't wanna leave
how being with young people
keeps you young and is something to cherish always
I'll think of my talk with Tashi over lunch
and the way Deron's Caribbean blooded gaze detected
the depth of the water / the instinct of where to dive in
and where not
and that Andres saved a local boy
from drowning
and thought no one
noticed



January 13, 2019
Patillas, Puerto Rico

the problem with no

What if I said no
and that was just okay
What if I said no
and was never pressured to say yes
What if I said no
without feeling like I did something wrong
What if I said no
and you said, “I understand”
What if I said no
without feeling so fucking bad

plant life

He was a winter dear
I was a summer selk
He was raging against the machine
I was biking in a bathing suit
He was reading on the beach in a red sun hat
I was pointing my toes, stronger than anyone
He was even slower than you would think
I was on a mission

We were peaches
ripening in the breathless nights
We were apples in a pan
Softening to each other

Leaving

pain

crooked at the bathroom sink
cast polymer fingernails press
press into what
a bloom of needles grow from a hip
that i am watching twist
down the thick gristled squeeze
torquing in my back
neck is flowering
towards a heavying, unsteady sun.
"look at me," says the lover.
i hear my laugh break free.

Red Wall

Tell me about virtue
Tell me about wisdom and the right thing to do
I'm growing afraid
That questions are the only constant
I was told that renting
Shouldn't stop you from designing a room
The exact way you want it to be
You never know
If you'll stay in the rental for years and years
Or leave the house you bought
After a year and a half
So paint the wall red now
You can always paint it back
You can always eat your security deposit
You can't plan for what hasn't happened yet
This was interior design advice
From a Mormon Mommy Blogger
She said don't let certain impermanence
Keep you from loving your space
She also told me
Via the comment section
That I should change my surname to Popemiller
So grain of salt, I guess
I asked my friend if we should have kids
She said I wouldn't like her answer
She said if she had to do it again
She wouldn't
She said she wouldn't trade her son for the world
She said it was hard and expensive and she questioned constantly
That she was doing it all wrong
She said she loved the way he smells like dirty little boy
I didn't not like her answer
I also didn't not like
waking up to 17 drunk texts from another life