ghost of friendship past

on the coldest days
I sit alone on the couch
and wonder
what happened to me
what happened to the friends
I once had
I don’t know where they went
or why
I don’t know how to cultivate friendships
how to keep in touch
even with the ones who live close by
I wonder if
they sit alone and wonder
what happened to me
the friend they once had
where I went
or why