Unknown

she met me five or six times
before she started to see me
and she told me
I don’t think you’re as happy as
you pretend to be
there’s someone else under there
and she was mostly right
when she said
be proactive in your life
make some choices
and I felt like crying
blocking out most of what she told me

but most people who know me
don’t see me
like she saw me
they don’t look at my hands
when I speak
to see how they move
they don’t look at my shoulders
when I listen
to see how much they turn
they don’t look in my eyes
when they speak
to see if I’m still there

they’ve known me for years
but they don’t really know me
how the few choices
I’ve made
have trapped me
in this body
in these relationships
in this apartment
in this job
in this city
unable to change anything about it

even she thinks she knows me now
that she’s somehow figured me out
but she doesn’t
and she didn’t